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Mary's Return 17​-​19

by kaījīnkim

/
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1.
Is it wrong to be grateful for the things I'll never know I don't think so, no I don't think so I'm far away no stones throw The waves in the gutter could never hit me, no Rollin 'till I'm stoned, wish I was given direction Rollin 'till I'm stoned, rollin 'till I'm stoned Rolling stone
2.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, shit! (Shakin n bakin) Hold this shit, sit in this fucking chair (Yea, yea) (Aye, yea, huh) I almost fucking fell What happened, what happened Hypersonic, smokin chronic, love the tonic Come up off it, need to stop it, need to stop it Xanny bar hittin hard, I don't need it I won't sell it, need a profit, I fucking lost it Happy home, live alone Take a fucking chrome right to my dome I don't even know what the fuck is goin on What's happenin to me My fucking brain is schizophrenic And I cope with this when I reminisce I need more of this I need more of this Till I choke on this and that liquor spills from my lips My lil niche And I cope with this when I reminisce I need more of this I need more of this Till I choke on this and that liquor spills from my lips My lil niche Sobriety never cured my anxieties Of never reachin a higher me Sever my head to be lighter see Distasteful irony all the [Redacted] rivalries Only fade when we all face cases of liquor and leaves The mixture will cease (Cease) to fix tendencies (Cease) Of pictures of nines (Nines) aiming straight at me I'd sail seven seas (Cease), sense six I've believed A fifth of all water intoxicates me (Oh no) Four, three, two, one Like to believe my depression has lessened Truth is I'm blue as the hue of an eye of a cocky me Pre-adolescence, lessons are more like vessels That ship-wreck over the mention That I could be doing better Whether the weather was better, doubt never ever I tried to hoist the sails of a settler, choice of endeavor But the ropes untie and I fall to the floor Should've kept my ass a scout, can't tie knots anymore I need it And I cope with this when I reminisce I need more of this I need more of this Till I choke on this and that liquor spills from my lips My lil niche And I cope with this when I reminisce I need more of this I need more of this Till I choke on this and that liquor spills from my lips My lil niche Loco motive, bad intentions, back strokin no intervention Obsession, undressin, dip in the pool but I'll never relapse Relax, these ain't capsules, I ain't an asshole I never popped one, rather unravel all of the knots 'For I show you these spots that I climb through Heaven is my hell if I can never find you
3.
Home again for the moment then I was feelin like Earl Lonely when I gotta go again to beaches no pearls But the sand between the curls of my feet I feel defeated when I'm off the concrete Playin for keeps I'm not a player nor cheat A trip like a sheet laid out so you can't speak Bikini bottoms up I been chasin liquor instead of ladies lately No baby can phase me I'm rockin seas in the navy Not talkin [Redacted] I am just the product of raining Terror on myself like King Midas Blowin out my sinus till my [Redacted] reign righteous I'd sacrifice what's priceless for my people like ISIS Maybe that's the issue Blowin through another pack of tissue Promising my friends that I'll see them again And if I reach the ends of another box Might as well come through without you Kickin boots no socks Because I'm burning man what I be earning Dam stops the flow and what I'm deserving am Not of only because it's above my head It's where all the water has led I'm burning man what I be earning Dam stops the flow and what I'm deserving am Not of only because it's above my head Sometimes I swear Ref would've been on by now If I hadn't kept starting over Like we got bad engines in our Benzes and Rovers Bad facts is we older and we might be bolder But we ain't got the ball rollin We just moldin in the corner of the U.S.A. Parallel but across from The hip-hop hooray's very birthplace So we ain't no NYC nor with no NWA But PNW has formulating waves, formation in a cave We ain't sleep for days, cookin up formulas You got no fish fillet, epidemy of waves rain drops Like we got drip to save whether it's formals to raves We abnormal in the best way You say no saving grace when there's a bag to chase I say stay smooth, ooze icing on the cake I say make moves, not like the Reef beneath waves But the man who be getting the beats made But I be burning man what I be earning Dam stops the flow and what I'm deserving am Not of only because it's above my head It's where all the water had led I'm burning man what I be earning, damn Stops the flow, what I'm deserving am Not of only because it's above my head It's where all the water has led Where the water had led
4.
88% 01:31
There's a spark in the dirt but I stand my ground Like what's it worth if I unearth more hurt Work just to shovel all of it back down Hellhound back to the pound Hell knows damn well I'd rather drown Before I break that dam, shake that hatred jammed My Name Is Mud not Sam And it'd flow with no method, grow with no septic Vibe check to my throat, you get it Think I'd choke until my head split Caught in the net no filter I need a sitter when I feel sicker My will to contain begins to flicker My war with myself I'm ready to end, ready to end Ready to end
5.
Rocket man, I am Standing on the dark side of the moon Never realized how far I ran But I don't plan on landing anytime soon
6.
Callisto v.2 04:44
My stars always die in the nighttime And fade away, 'till there's no more memories And sometimes I get sick of the highlife But ecstasy, will wear off with the day I'm in no need of no nightlight But you shine beautiful and you shine unusual Breaking through, break into my cubical But why are my holes my biggest highlights Of everything, a depression in its way My stars always die in the nighttime And fade away, 'till there's no more memories And sometimes I get sick of the highlife But ecstasy, will wear off with the day The filling of a hollow place will stretch the space The feeling don't follow me when I'm all alone Do you feel like calling me? No sellin/cell in apologies No bothering, except the hold of a cold line in steal If E.T. can't phone home, no words will break my bones If E.T. can't phone home, no words will break my bones My stars always die in the nighttime, and fade away
7.
Ima do a bad bitch walk Sunshine don't show through my back pocket Glad bag used to use it unwrap And in my hand I held my rocket I'm sad, but ima do a bad bitch walk Bad bitch walk, bad bitch walk, walk, walk I never met the man first hand But [Redacted] said she got this can from [Redacted] And ima confuse my stance Blow my fuse right in my pants They don't really know where I stand, cuz I don't I'm on my hands bouta throw up my chance She said "boy you blew it, I ain't a fan" Screw it I got my candle light I'm in my birthday suit tonight Threw off my socks like my sandal tight I'm on my own love handle like I wake up with a chance, but step outside I can't Get too reckless cuz then I'm left sexless Guess I gotta act alright, hope I don't show through mime Cuz I'm sad, but ima do a bad bitch walk Sunshine don't show through my back pocket Glad bag used to use it unwrap And in my hand I held my rocket I'm sad, but ima do a bad bitch walk Bad bitch walk, bad bitch walk, walk (walk), walk (walk) "Boy you gotta lotta talk for a toy that's been shot" Said "I got myself" and I try that stealth When I begin to melt right through my glass Fall right back lookin like an ass, that's that flash That's that pass "do I gotta pass back?" Let me reach my goal but that's not my point You don't gotta blow this joint Or bend back words when I got no shot She hand's me one like it's on the rocks We break that ice like a two-tone that's too light I thought I blew it but then she bite...then I lose track "Are you alright?" "No not really" Guess she think that's wack "Foo you gotta lotta talk for a tool with no shot" Guess I left that strap, and now I'm sad But ima do a bad bitch walk Sunshine don't show through my back pocket Glad bag used to use it unwrap And in my hand I held my rocket I'm sad, but ima do a bad bitch walk Bad bitch walk, bad bitch walk, walk, walk Guess I can't sell it, I'm no cool kid I'm a felon Ain't no booboo ain't no tellin but I hit that shit at 7:11 Lick like dip in her jaw, stick that hit that raw Think I've been here before Get caught up in it like net again They say I move for attention, but I wanna feel tension Or just feel something, man I wanna feel something Like I can't do this function (Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right Left, right, left, right, left, right) Bad bitch walk, bad bitch walk, bad bitch walk Bad bitch walk, bad bitch walk, bad bitch walk Bad bitch walk, bad bitch walk, bad bitch walk Bad bitch walk, walk, walk, walk, bad bitch walk, walk (Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right Left, right, left, right, left, right, right right right left)
8.
Can I sell off my [Redacted] or should I settle for the wine Can I afford another session therapy with a mic A self-defense mechanism glorifying my life Cuz my heart in obsession steady flee from your sights Blow the feelings myself, only choke on the top shelf So I rode the bar like the seats taken till I'm feeling myself Too much pressure I felt from my friends pressin me Just to be myself, good weed huh? good weed huh? Good weed huh? Good weed huh? Good weed huh? Good weed huh? I needa, I needa, good week huh Count back my blessings till I lose track of time Gotta ask what's mines Cuz the best of my possessions always retract from rhyme Or reason to have like my ass can't add And I could talk out it but I guess I'd feel bad Rather lie out my ass like my tongue in my cheek Said more seconds then it starts to reek Feelings love to play a game of hide-and-go-seek Shite I don't leak, sites so deep, and I don't expose myself To the world but I let it come to me Can I sell off my [Redacted] or should I settle for the wine Can I afford another session therapy with a mic Wear my sleeve with it intention/in tension Roll it up until the night Cuz my heart in obsession steady flee from your sights Spotlight, spotlight, spotlight, spotlight, spotlight Spotlight, spotlight, spot, light, stop light, stop, go
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about

A compilation of loose tracks, alternatives, and instrumentals from the last 5 years and 55 days after 'Mary Had A Little Bass', a compilation of demos and incomplete songs from when I first started producing starting early 2015 (released at the end of 2015). Although these tracks were finished 2017-2019, songs like 'alt27' is an alternative to a beat made in 2016, while songs such as 'Walter' sample a 2015 demo. While cleaning my files at the end of 2020, I found these.

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released February 3, 2021

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Chala Ref Charlotte, North Carolina

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